So I am sitting here late Tuesday evening, Derek's gone to Arizona picking up a car for his work. I'm looking at my old journal from single/college years. As I'm reading through it, I've realize how faithful and SO strong I was. I feel like lately I've been consumed with 'life' and that I sometimes really lose focus on what's really important. I need to constantly learn to sit back for a minute and ponder; evaluate my life, evaluate my day.
I need to be better at not comparing myself to others. Since being a mother, I find myself being a lot harder on myself. I feel many inadequacies in so many areas. I just have to remember and recognize how MANY blessings Heavenly Father continues pouring into my life. I need to learn to be happy with being ME. Sorry to go off on that tangent. It's just been weighing on my mind.
As I'm sitting reading through my journal I come across a journal entry that brings such a smile to my face...
April 24th 2005
"....This week has been really busy with ending the semester and getting caught up with things. It's been pretty exciting because there is a guy who is in my health and Institute classes. His name is Derek. I've talked to him quite a a few times; really good guy and pretty handsome. :) Didn't think much as far as pursuing in getting to know him more because he is kind of shy as am I.
On Wednesday we had our last health class together and ended up talking after. (by the way the first thing Derek asked when we walked out of class is, "so...you like nsync huh?" I had an nsync patch on the back of my backpack, yikes.) Talking about what our plans for the summer are. He told me he'll be working and then in July he might be going to Venezuela to visit his mission. I told him I would be working and looking into getting a nanny job back east. We ended walking to Institute together. We had a wonderful lesson in Institute and our teacher Brother Sackett sang, "Peace I leave with you." The spirit was so strong. After his lesson I was thinking to myself, "hmm..I wonder if Derek would ask me for my number?...no he wouldn't....or would he?...no he's not going to.....or is he?, etc......
He was sitting by me and after class was finished he got up to go somewhere real quick then came back to sit by me again. He asked me if he could have my number so we can hang out sometime. WOW- that never happens. I hope he calls me. :)"
Well in case you haven't noticed, he did call me. Two weeks (the longest two weeks) after he got my number, he called. Thank you thank you thank you. The rest is history :)
I need to be better at not comparing myself to others. Since being a mother, I find myself being a lot harder on myself. I feel many inadequacies in so many areas. I just have to remember and recognize how MANY blessings Heavenly Father continues pouring into my life. I need to learn to be happy with being ME. Sorry to go off on that tangent. It's just been weighing on my mind.
As I'm sitting reading through my journal I come across a journal entry that brings such a smile to my face...
April 24th 2005
"....This week has been really busy with ending the semester and getting caught up with things. It's been pretty exciting because there is a guy who is in my health and Institute classes. His name is Derek. I've talked to him quite a a few times; really good guy and pretty handsome. :) Didn't think much as far as pursuing in getting to know him more because he is kind of shy as am I.
On Wednesday we had our last health class together and ended up talking after. (by the way the first thing Derek asked when we walked out of class is, "so...you like nsync huh?" I had an nsync patch on the back of my backpack, yikes.) Talking about what our plans for the summer are. He told me he'll be working and then in July he might be going to Venezuela to visit his mission. I told him I would be working and looking into getting a nanny job back east. We ended walking to Institute together. We had a wonderful lesson in Institute and our teacher Brother Sackett sang, "Peace I leave with you." The spirit was so strong. After his lesson I was thinking to myself, "hmm..I wonder if Derek would ask me for my number?...no he wouldn't....or would he?...no he's not going to.....or is he?, etc......
He was sitting by me and after class was finished he got up to go somewhere real quick then came back to sit by me again. He asked me if he could have my number so we can hang out sometime. WOW- that never happens. I hope he calls me. :)"
Well in case you haven't noticed, he did call me. Two weeks (the longest two weeks) after he got my number, he called. Thank you thank you thank you. The rest is history :)
I need to be better at showing my appreciation toward all my loved ones
I love you Derek. Thank you for being SO patient with me. I think you are more patient with me then I am with myself. I don't know what I'd do with out you. I'm a better person because of you. I love you sweetie!
6 comments:
I love your new background! I guess it might not be new, I always check google reader so I don't get to see cute backgrounds.
Mandy you are so great! I think we all feel that way once we're moms especially. But you are so talented and created and such a great mom. (with such an adorable daughter :)
I remember that time so well. We talked so much about "this guy" who got your number and was taking fooooorevvvvvver to call! Derek, I'm so glad you called!!! It's good to see Mandy so happy and fulfilled in life!
ha i totally know what you mean! i remember when i first got married not feeling nearly as spiritual as i did when i was single. (maybe that's because we were so determined to be good so we could find a hubby, get married . .) now we have that :) it's hard . . but funny that im not the only one who has come across those same thoughts. i loved your journal entry ...haha oh the single days. isn't it good to be married :)
Mandy what a cute post. You are such a great mom, a great wife, and an amazing friend.
Oh that's cute! I wish I had a journal entry like that. Elder Uchtdorf's talk from the RS Broadcast was a great one for us women who are hard on ourselves (aka, ALL women)PS I LOVE the poopouri post. Sounds like a good invention!
Darling new background! I'm jealous!
I loved this post...mostly because its so much like my life...the inadequacies of being a first time mom, the being hard on yourself, and especially the journal reminiscing. That's why I journal so religiously...its MY STORY.
Anyway, you're doing a great job...you're baby is BE-YOU-TIFUL and you've always been an amazing woman. Derek is a lucky man.
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