Joseph's surgery

This was just before the surgery

 Our little Joseph had his hernia surgery last Friday, Dec. 14th. We were told earlier in the week that the surgeon, Dr. Downey would like to perform the surgery on Joseph before he gets home after all. I was feeling so nervous throughout the rest of the week, mostly the idea of him being under anesthesia and being cut, but we knew it needed to happen.
We got there Friday morning and his primary nurse Pam was getting things ready and waiting to hear when surgeon was ready for him. We then wheeled him to the patient waiting room in the O.R. Dr. Downey came and looked at him and explained to us that he would also look on Joseph's other side (left side) to see if there was another hernia. They also said that he may have a slight umbilical hernia. That was new to us, we didn't know that.
Soon, they were ready for him and we wheeled him to a certain point in the hall and then they took him. I had a ball in my throat and wanted to burst into tears. I wanted so badly to be right there with him and hold him. We just had to trust the staff and put our son in their hands. That was rough. 

In the waiting area with his nurse Pam. She is so wonderful.

This was just after his surgery

The surgery took about and hour and a half. Dr. Downey came out to talk to us and told us he repaired three hernias, the original one, one on the left side and his umbilical. THREE HERNIAS! Still gets me. He is recovering well and has gained his appetite back quickly. If we get him on the right track with feedings again then he can come home soon. :) What a little trooper Joseph is. He is such a fighter!

Cookie Jar

Who took the cookie from the cookie jar? THOMAS DID!! (just before dinner)

Enduring

Early this morning Joseph had a hernia. After sacrament meeting, I went in for feeding time at 11am and his nurse Launa wasn't in at the time. She was in her sacrament meeting in the hospital. The neighbor nurse Katherine told me how miserable he was this morning and that he had had a hernia. I was completely shocked and heart broken that he suffered and I wasn't even there. I was trying to register it all. She told me the doctor came in and was able to relieve the hernia by pushing it back then he had felt better and was able to sleep. His nurse Launa said that during his diaper change around 7:30am, he was SCREAMING and his lower pelvic area was full and hard. She called in the Nurse Practitioner and she was too nervous to push it back in herself because of how hard the lump was in his scrotum so she had the doctor come do it. They went and took an x-ray of him. So of now, they are going to check him at every diaper change to see if it's come back down. The doctors will also check on him once or twice a day. They said that the opening is still quite small which can make it challenging to push it back each time. The surgeon told the nurse practitioner today that he will look at Joseph before he's ready to go home and confirm if he needs surgery or not. If he does need surgery it would be good to get it done while he is still in the NICU instead of being home and then having to come back and admit him in the Pediatric unit. They probably want to wait and do the surgery when he is nursing about four times a day and gained more weight. So we shall see. He is up to 5 pounds now.

Today after hearing all the news, I was able to try and nurse him while he was hooked up to feeding tube. He was too exhausted to try. That's been pretty typical of him the last week or so. They had to put him back on oxygen yesterday to help him not be so exhausted. It hasn't really helped with nursing yet, but time will tell. After we tried nursing, I held him skin to skin. I noticed he was kind of gagging a little on me and I thought he was refluxing. After holding him for about 25-30 minutes he was gagging again and swallowing and crying. Soon after, he threw up ALL over and his feeding tube had slipped out. He had throw up coming out of his nose and he couldn't breathe. The nurse quickly suctioned him out of his mouth and his nose which helped but we could tell he was still gurgling in his chest like he needed to let out a big cough to get it out. It was so scary to see him scream and then not be able to breathe and his eyes were SO BIG as he struggled to breathe. It was horrifying to me. What happened was the feeding tube had shifted from all the movement that morning and then me holding him that it came out of his stomach and was sitting in his esophagus and that's why he threw up all the milk.  Now they have to keep a close eye on his lungs to make sure the liquid doesn't sit in his lungs and cause infection which would cause pneumonia. Our poor sweet boy.

They tell you right when you have a preemie baby that you should expect ups and downs with these babies. I feel like he has done SO well. Then as of last week it has just felt like he's been going down the slope a little bit with being too exhausted to nurse with exception of a few pretty good latches. He has worked so hard and continues to do so, but his little body can only do so much. Let's hope and pray this hernia can be taken care of and healed quickly and that he doesn't have to keep suffering with it and that he and I can get this nursing down soon. 

 Big sister singing him her own song that she made up. :)
Last Friday was the last day his siblings and other visitors (besides his parents and grandparents) could see him because of RSV season. Emma was so sad not being able to visit him in hospital. She is so anxious for him to come home, as all of us are.

 Thomas sang "I am a Child of God" to his little brother.

 This picture was taken yesterday before all this other stuff happened today. Isn't he SO cute? He is filling out quite well and his coloring looks great. That hand in the mouth is a very good thing because he's recognizing when he's hungry and sucks on his little hands when he is hungry.

 Melt my heart

Your family loves you sweet Joseph boy. We continue praying for you and hope you will recover quickly and come home!

Update on Joseph

Joseph is 

36 gestational weeks today and turned 5 weeks old yesterday.

Joseph has been doing really well over all. Last week was a big and successful week for him. He got off of the oxygen and started doing nutritive breastfeeding which is where twice a day we will weigh Joseph and then try and get him to breast feed and then weigh him after to see if he got anything. The most he got last week in a sitting was 10ml. SCORE. Then there were 5's 2's, 1's, 3's, 0's. Then after, we sit skin to skin and they hook up his feeding tube. 

On Saturday he was officially EXHAUSTED. He wouldn't really latch, and would breathe rapidly. He's worked his little body SO hard that week that finally he was shutting down. It's been challenging. He was still too tired today to get a feeding. The nurses say around 37 weeks is when it should just click for him. 

Last week when he was doing so well, I couldn't help but feel anxious for him to be home even that much more. It felt like it was just around the corner, but now with his exhaustion things are set back a little and that's ok. We will get through this. 

He is gaining a great amount of weight. He is now (as of last night) 4 lbs. 15 oz :) ALMOST 5 pounds. He may hit 5 pounds by the end of today or tomorrow. 

As a family, we are hanging in there with the juggles of going back and forth to the hospital. We do what we need to do. We SO look forward to our sweet boy to come home. We hope by Christmas.

What a blessing he is.

 We love you little Joseph boy!

  

love at first sight

 Well as you can imagine it's been VERY busy around here. It's been hard keeping everyone up to date with Joseph's progression. He is doing very well. He is one month old now and they took him off oxygen this week and we've been training in the breast feeding. He weighs 4 pounds, 12 oz. as of today :) WOOHOO! Still quite a road ahead of us but feel so grateful for his progression. Thank you for your prayers in his behalf. I will post updated photos soon. Sorry I'm so behind. For now, here are some photos of first hours of his life. 

Emma and Thomas love Joseph SO much and are always remembering him in their prayers. I think it was love at first sight when they were brought to the NICU to come see him, they were glowing. They are anxious (especially Emma) to have him home. We all are.

 Emma and Thomas just glowing when they first see their baby brother just hours after he was born.

 

Here is a note that Emma wrote for the NICU bulletin for the whole staff. How sweet :)

 The kids have been drawing Joseph some pictures to hang up in his station in the NICU. 

Here is Thomas' drawing. Notice the little red smiley face. He's been SO good at drawing those lately :)

 This is a note Emma wrote all by herself. The only words that she needed help to spell was family. Derek and I were so surprised and proud. It reads...

"We are your family

and your familys names are Emma and Daddy and Mommy and 

Thomas"

 This a letter Emma wrote to "Joey" before we named him. She liked the name Joey. Well she was close enough :) She can still call him Joey if she wants to.

more Emma drawings

She writes...

"Dear Joseph

I love you

You are the 

cutest baby ever." 

How true that is, how true that is.....

bed rest

It was such a challenge being on bed rest for myself and my family. As soon as the doctor gave me the orders on October 18th just days before Joseph was born, I didn't know how I could do it.

Earlier in the week, I had a melt down to Derek. I knew and feared the doctor was going to tell me bed rest at my appointment on Thursday. I didn't know how I would do it all with taking care of my family, my calling as Primary President, and my HUGE list of things to get done before this baby came at Christmas and taking care of Christmas. I then asked Derek for a Priesthood blessing. In the blessing it was said that "this baby would come when he/she was supposed to." I thought about that for a few minutes and hoped that that meant the baby will come closer to his due date.

Well, I was faced with a whirlwind of emotions when the doctor told me later that week that I could have preeclampsia and he wanted to run more tests. I held back my tears as long as I could after he left, then his nurse Rachel came to talk with me to see how I was really feeling. I lost it. My load  feeling heavy and I didn't know I would do this. Then of course Monday, Oct. 22nd, tests resulted that I did indeed have Preclampsia.

Well as soon as the word got out to friends, family, and neighbors we have been well taken care of ever since. My wonderful counselors and Secretary in Primary have totally taken over and carried more of the load. We've had meals brought to us, neighbors taking care of my children and so forth. We have felt SO blessed. 

My sweet family took such great care of me while I was on bed rest. This picture of Emma brushing my hair pretty much sums up how I was treated. Derek was such a champ during that short time on bed rest before Joseph came and still is as we try and balance life out between home and being at the hospital NICU with our sweet Joseph. We're getting through it. We are adapting. There are harder days then others, but with all the love, prayers and support we are getting through it. We thank you so much for the prayers, we are feeling them.

Frazier family Halloween 2012 part 1

 Just before I went on bed rest in October we got a lot of Halloween crafting on! First we made some foot print ghosts. Thomas and Emma kept saying how much it tickled to paint their own feet. I think they turned out adorable. They were hung on our front door window right away :) The kids have been obsessed with ghost sounds this halloween. At the beginning of the month Thomas did not like it when we made the sounds because I think he associated it with monsters, and he didn't like that. :) Then he warmed up to the idea of ghosts and we've had fun with them since. 

Project #2, we made ghosts out  of paper plates. They drew some cute ghost faces on them and had fun running around with them after completion. 

Project #3, We made haunted houses. I cut out the black houses and let the kids put them on colored paper and let them color in the windows of the houses and draw in the back ground. They turned out quite cute. I love watching Thomas concentrate on something with his tongue sticking out, so cute.

Emma's haunted house

Thomas' haunted house 

 Emma was drawing something halloween almost every day, here are a few for your viewing pleasure. :)

Here is a pumpkin Emma drew on for little "Joey". She already named the baby before we did. She was just SO ecstatic to have a new baby brother and was quick to decide his name. Of course she now calls him Joseph. :)